Our favorite thing is to poke patients with those sharp metal thingies and then ask why their gums are bleeding, just to eff with them.
Psst… We’ll totally know if you lie to us about how often you floss. Plus, you’ll go to hell.
Sometimes our hygienists get bored and experiment with the nitric. It’s wild.
If you don’t leave Smiles R Us a 5-star Yelp review, you can kiss your dog goodbye.
How are you people still consistently late to your appointments when we send you 3284 reminders?? We’re not mad, just disappointed.
Don’t tell anyone, but Dr. Todd hasn’t flossed in like 7 years.
A really old guy was in here earlier and now the dentures we use to teach toddlers how to brush are missing. Check your grandpa’s pockets, folks.
A dentist is a therapist for your teeth. They’ve seen some shit.
We regret to inform you that Dr. Todd has taken up improv as a hobby. Consider this your warning.
FLASH SALE!! 50% off your dental cleaning for the first person who can tell us why hygienists ask about your day when their hands are in your mouth.
Dr. Lisa told me to make a lame pun using “tooth” instead of “truth” and I told her to stop controlling my art. Picasso didn’t have to put up with this shit.
Can we tell you the “tooth”? Dental appointments are the best- no lie! (I hate myself.)
Flossing isn’t just a rad dance move; it’s an essential part of your oral health! (Ok, Dr. Lisa, that’s enough.)
Do ostriches have teeth? Because that would be terrifying.
Smiles R Us is hiring! Apply online, but only if you are cute and won’t keep curry in the breakroom fridge.
Not to brag, but Smiles R Us has the hottest staff members…especially our social media guy!
Poll: Would you rather not have ears or only hear the sound of Dr. Lisa drilling into your molars for the rest of your life?
So what are your plans for this…nevermind, we don’t actually care.
Little known fact: Dentists are major sex symbols. At least, according to Dr. Todd. *eyeroll*
Does anyone actually know what’s in fluoride? Seems pretty sketchy tbh…
Heads up: Smiles R Us will be closed for the next three days while we attend the National Dentist Conference in Las Vegas. See you bitches on the other side!
Patients with appointments this morning: Please be cool and just cancel. We’re mad hungover from Vegas and the last thing we need is to smell your stank breath.