When hair accessories try to slowly murder you

The culprits

Before the show last night I put on a new wig cap so tight I could barely fit it on my head. I took it off, tried unsuccessfully to stretch it out, and somehow got it back on along with my wig, having run out of time to fool with it anymore.

The pain so intense it was all I could think about throughout Act I. It felt like my head was in a vise grip. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I hurriedly switched to my old cap during the only 3 minutes I’m off stage. The relief was instantaneous and brought tears to my eyes. A line-shaped bruise was already forming on my hairline.

I tried again to stretch the cap out after I got home, when a part of it suddenly came loose. I pulled and out came a second wig cap. One had been inside the other, and I had put both of them on my head.

And if that’s not the most subtle, subconscious form of self sabotage, I don’t know what is.

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