Cannibalism for preschoolers

So…pretty sure I accidentally taught my preschool Spanish students about cannibalism today. Please reserve all judgement/ concerned emails/ parent phone calls until the end of the story when you realize this was totally not my fault. 

We were reading The Three Billy Goats Gruff, but in Spanish, (Los Tres Chivitos Gruff, if you were wondering). If you’ll recall, each of the billy goats tells the troll not to eat them because they don’t have enough meat to satisfy him; the troll should wait for the next brother to get more bang for his buck.

Do you already see how this is not my fault?

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An Important Message from Pistol Pete, Your Kid’s New School Mascot

This piece originally appeared on MockMom.

Hi, kids! I’m Pistol Pete, the new mascot here at Sunnyside Elementary. I may look like a scary semi-automatic weapon, but don’t worry, I’m here to keep you safe and sound! Sure, it feels strange seeing a gun in your school—that used to be a no-no! But we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other since district policy now requires me to be carried by your teachers, principal, cafeteria workers, janitors, and a variety of community volunteers.

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