Parenting is impossible right now, but maybe the kids will be okay if you get every critical decision right. Do you have what it takes? Take this quiz to find out!
Scenario 1: School time! To decide what to do with your kids, you need to check CDC recommendations, monitor local hospitalization rates, and consult your yoga teacher’s tarot cards. Don’t forget to screen all advice for political bias. You can…
Before the show last night I put on a new wig cap so tight I could barely fit it on my head. I took it off, tried unsuccessfully to stretch it out, and somehow got it back on along with my wig, having run out of time to fool with it anymore.
Hi, kids! I’m Pistol Pete, the new mascot here at Sunnyside Elementary. I may look like a scary semi-automatic weapon, but don’t worry, I’m here to keep you safe and sound! Sure, it feels strange seeing a gun in your school—that used to be a no-no! But we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other since district policy now requires me to be carried by your teachers, principal, cafeteria workers, janitors, and a variety of community volunteers.
Like, oh roughly, 99% of the country right now, I’ve jumped on the Marie Kondo bandwagon. Actually that’s a lie. I haven’t watched a single episode, but I caught the gist from the preview on my way to watch Lady Dynamite.
Anyhoo, the important thing is I’ve made a life-altering decision based on a 30 second clip and the siren song of the latest trend sweeping its way through cluttered homes everywhere: I’m about to Marie Kondo my life. I’m serious, if something isn’t sparking immediate joy, that ish is on its way to the proverbial Goodwill.
Let’s face it: clickbait headlines are everywhere these days. Much like a virus, they’re unavoidable, they’re sneaky, and they leave you feeling icky inside. Imagine then, if you will, if some of history’s most famous “headlines” had been written as clickbait.