I spend a lot of time in parking lots these days. Not in a creepy way, but in a “if I don’t get out of this goddamn house and away from these goddamn people I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.” Okay, so it’s kind of creepy, too.Continue reading “Stalking cat walkers for fun”
Parenting is impossible right now, but maybe the kids will be okay if you get every critical decision right. Do you have what it takes? Take this quiz to find out!
Scenario 1: School time! To decide what to do with your kids, you need to check CDC recommendations, monitor local hospitalization rates, and consult your yoga teacher’s tarot cards. Don’t forget to screen all advice for political bias. You can…Continue reading “QUIZ: Can You Ace Pandemic Parenting?”
|Look, I’m feeling salty, so I’m just going to jump right in by giving you a running list of things I never want to hear again:|
1. Commercials with soft piano background music and a concerned™ narrator
“In these unprecedented times,” “now more than ever,” “we’re in this together”- all those phrases can take a hike.
2. White House coronavirus press briefings
No explanation needed.
3. My daughter asking if we can get a dog
I said “I’ll think about it.” If after 11 years on this earth you still haven’t figured out that’s Mom for “no,” I don’t know what to tell you.