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Laughs. Life. Other 'L' things.

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Feel free to contact me anytime at lgaarwrites(at)gmail.com .

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lesliegaarwriter

Former teacher. Current writer and mom of three. Perpetual smart ass. Mostly the last one. Featured on Washington Post, Scary Mommy & TODAY Parents.

This morning I woke to the sound of chainsaws as w

This morning I woke to the sound of chainsaws as workers began cutting down the beautiful old oak tree in my next door neighbors' yard. A few weeks ago they had mentioned wanting to get rid of it not because it was sick, dying, or doing any real damage, but because they didn't like the slight bump its roots had created in their driveway.

I gasped when I realized what was happening, watching the men strap themselves into harnesses and climb the branches they would soon destroy. My 6-year-old, just having watched The Lorax, begged me to stop what was now clearly inevitable. I felt sick as I tried to come up with an explanation, feebly saying "there's nothing we can do."

All day long the loud buzz of the chainsaws rang throughout the house, occasionally interrupted by the louder whir of the woodchipper. My stomach clenched as I tried to find a way to escape the noise, but it was everywhere.

I retreated to the office behind my house in hopes of blocking it out, and it worked somewhat. Later, I looked out the window towards the tree, a subconscious habit I'd developed. I was greeted not by its golden yellow leaves, its soft green buds, or even its dormant black branches... but a mutated trunk, the branches now sawed off, like a body whose arms had been brutally amputated. That's when I began to cry.

I continued to cry as the men took a break, chatting and joking over their lunch. They finally finished their work a little after 2, hauling off what remained of the decades old being they had reduced to mulch a matter of hours. I cried some more as I went out to gather some of the leaves that had floated into our yard- the only tribute I was able to give. I cried even more when I saw the stump, a sad brown scar.

I don't know why I'm crying over a tree today, or why I felt the need to write about it, but I did and I am. There was something in this loss that felt like a culmination of all the losses over the past 10 months. The loss of a thing of joy and beauty, shelter and shade. A cutting down of something in its prime for no good reason. A feeling of helplessness as I watched from safe inside my home as the world around me fell to the ground. (Cont in comments)

Seemed like a good coloring page for today. 🙍💫

And an endless stream of cat videos. 🙍

And an endless stream of cat videos. 🙍

I hear Easter trees are a thing anyway. 🙍

I hear Easter trees are a thing anyway. 🙍

In this month's newsletter, I speculate that [gest

In this month's newsletter, I speculate that [gestures everywhere] all of this is the result of a monkey paw wish gone awry. There's also...

🔸History is exhausting
🔸My effing podcast
🔸What I'm reading
🔸And more!

Link to the full newsletter in bio! ↖

Here's a little palate cleanser from America: Sedi

Here's a little palate cleanser from America: Sedition Edition.

If you want some more, I'm sending out a newsletter tomorrow that should distract you from your doomscrolling for a full 8 minutes. Sign up at the link in my bio.

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